Bow to my Insanity
by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: The Red Fountain guys sans Helia get fanficked. No romance. Some gratuitous violence and mild innuendo. Okay one sentence. The guys really get hit. Flames accepted.


**Bow to my Insanity**

**A screwed up one shot that makes fun of the Red Fountain guys**

**Dedications: This fanfic is dedicated to Purple Nova because I nearly wet myself reading her new story. It's also dedicated to my brother who doesn't read this stuff and the state of New York- except for Ft. Drum/ Carthage because my ex lives there and I don't want to dedicate anything to him. **

**Summary: The Red Fountain guys get fanficked. It's funny! I swear. But rated for some slight innuendo.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not mean- I'm _niceness challenged._**

Sky was laying on his bed flipping idly through a recent issue of Vanity Fairy. He didn't seem to notice for quite some time that he was the center of attention.

A certain sort of dreaded unwanted attention.

Finally a large pink pen came down from the sky (he, he, he ) and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me."

"Eh?" Sky blinked and glanced up, "Oh, again?" He stood and closed the magazine.

He stood there for a minute or three twirling a strand of hair and staring into space. Then he scampered off to find Brandon.

"Sky?" The brunette shield bearer and his best friend glanced up from his work. "What do you want?"

"I'm not sure," The blonde specialist replied sounding rather bewildered. "But there's a fanfic starting and I had this sudden urge to find you." He paused then sweat dropped. "Eh, Brandon? What are you doing?"

"What? Oh, nothing!" Brandon snapped, quickly shoving his collection of Winx Club minis into a drawer and slamming it shut. "A fanfic you say? Interesting."

There was a long, long pause. So long I can't even describe it here- so you have to come up with your own analogy. Sky began to tap his foot.

"Eh, Brandon?"

"I'm thinking." Replied the other specialist tersely. "And I think we should go find Timmy. He should know what to do."

"But…" Sky's voice rose to a shattering soprano "But why?" And he suddenly clapped both hands over his mouth.

"So it's happening again?" the blonde's closest friend regarded him with amusement, then went on shrugging "It's a fanfic, someone's got to."

They wandered down to where Timmy's room was. Which for the sake of this fanfic was near professor Cordatorta's. Luckily Cordatorta was no where to be seen. So Brandon, of course Brandon, knocked three times on the door, which opened to reveal a startled specialist with mussed carrot hair.

Timmy made a small strangled sound and promptly fell out of bed. "Even more... enjoyable than usual professor." He croaked.

Brandon and Sky sweat dropped appropriately.

After a moment of decidedly awkward silence the carrot haired specialist turned tomato red also appropriately. "Again?"

His friends nodded.

"Well," Timmy muttered standing up, "What do we do then?"

"Well I…." Sky put a hand to his forehead and blinked. "I have a sudden urge to… kill… something."

Brandon groaned. "We'd better hurry and do whatever it is the author wants."

"Just as long as it's not another orgy lemon." Timmy winced and shook his head trying to get rid of the many unwholesome images stored there.

As they left the teacher's area, Riven came strolling down the hall.

"I" he said in a decidedly odd sounding voice, even for Riven. "Have a sudden burning desire to confess my love to Layla… or was it Bloom? If you'll excuse me." And he walked away.

Brandon and Timmy sweat dropped while Sky began to look crazy.

"This is gonna hurt-isn't it?"

o.O

"Layla," said Riven over spaghetti "I love you desperately. Passionately, with all my heart."

'_Great, not only am I being fanficked_'thought Layla. That much was obvious because she had a boyfriend and that only happened in fanfics. '_But someone gave me Mr. Ego for the part! _' She sighed loudly.

Riven looked up concerned. "Is something wrong?"

"But Riven! You love Musa!" The fluid fairy replied with her eyes twitching.

"Yes, yes I do." He said "Why am I here?"

They both pondered that fact.

"I know!" Riven finally cried snapping his fingers. "My undying love for you has caused me to see the light and attempt to forge a relationship with you!."

Layla fought to stay in her seat. "That'll do Riven, that'll do." She then returned to her spumoni

O.o

Meanwhile Brandon, Sky and Timmy were wandering aimlessly around downtown Magix. Brandon was completely void of expression and Sky looked vaguely insane. While Timmy appeared more than just a little confused.

"I can't decide whether I'm perky, serious or just mind numbingly dull." The carrot haired specialist muttered. "And what's more I have a sudden burning desire for Icy, or maybe Darcy. Or perhaps Ms. Griffin?"

"It's happening!" Sky whimpered "Brandon, do some…" he stopped mid sentence realizing that his voice had strangely become soprano. "I mean…" he whispered trying to get it to return to normal, "We have to do something to fix this!"

"I do, you mean" The brunette muttered

"Unless I'm still the brilliant one." Timmy blushes under the duo of withering glances "Hey, I could be left in character for a while- It's happened!"

Brandon sighed. "Actually I think it may be Riven we need. He was doing that confess his love thing again…."

"With my girlfriend no doubt." Sky groused and his eyes began to glow.

"He could be with Layla." Timmy suggested and the blonde's eyes went back to normal.

"Well, where'd Riven go anyway?" The brunette stopped and took a look around. "And why the Hell are we walking?"

"It's a low budget fanfic, so Riven's the only one with a vehicle."

o.O

And speaking of Riven's vehicle….

"Say, Layla, shall we go for a ride?"

"Uh…."

"Come on!" Giggling like a school girl Riven dragged his date outside and pointed. "Ain't she darlin'?"

Layla did a face plant. "Riven, didn't you have that really nice hover bike?"

"Bah!" Riven made a dismissive gesture. "A mere civilian vehicle, Now this…."

"It looks ridiculous Riven."

"Nonsense!" Still grinning like a crazy man the cherry haired specialist dragged the fluid fairy over to the car. He thought for a moment and handed her a helmet then donned one himself

"Here we go!" He exclaimed still grinning and looking horribly gleeful-eerie on most people but just down right horrifying on Riven. He popped in a CD and began to sing loudly.

Layla screamed in terror. " NO, NOT THAT SONG!"

Brandon stopped suddenly. "Did you hear that?"

"No." Timmy cocked his head to the side to try and listen. "Wait! Yes! That can only mean one thing."

"Riven's in sugar induced psycho mode?" Sky groaned with despair.

"Well, either that or he's out for your head."

"This is worse! I'm assured of a messy and painful death!" the blonde whined. "Brandon do something to sto- aiiee!"

"Be strong." Brandon spared his friend a slightly less-than-vacant look and a pat on the head. "Once we find Riven we'll get this all worked out. Now c'mon."

The trio broke into a run, hurrying in the direction of the unmistakable tune.

o.O

Sugar induced psycho mode may not have been the most accurate way to describe Riven's current state, but it was the best anyone could come up with. The cherry haired specialist had strangely acquired a pair of white, high water bell bottoms, a pale blue shirt and red socks. He was singing at the top of his lungs- Layla looked fairly insane.

"Mwa, ha, ha, ha! Go, go, go, GO!"

They might have gone on indefinitely if the other three specialists hadn't jumped in front of the car.

"Stop!" Timmy had seen fit to yell. "Stop or I'll stop you!"

"You guys aren't the boss of me!" Riven pouted, but he slammed on the breaks anyway coming to a dead stop in the middle of the road. Luckily like Timmy had mentioned before, it was a low budget fanfic with no room for extras, so no one else was in the way.

Layla pulled off her shoe and beat Riven with it until she passed out.

"What's the big idea?" The cherry haired specialist demanded hoping out of the car and whirling to face the trio. He glared at Brandon. "You are the most dangerous man I know! And you're insane!"

Brandon looked hurt. "I'm not insane! I'm a genius!"

"Can we talk about this later?" Sky shrieked from where he was crouched on the pavement, clutching his head in agony. "We don't have much time!"

Riven turned to him blinking. "Are you my brother?"

"It's the CD!" Timmy cried desperately, realizing that a certain song was still blaring from the vehicle. "It's affecting his brain! Kill the music quickly before we all go insane!"

Being the one who usually did things, innuendo aside; Brandon stepped regally over to the vehicle and smashed the radio in with his fist.

Blessed silence.

"I …ah…owie!" Riven blinked in confusion. "What was that?"

Sky suddenly sprang at the cherry haired specialist with a homicidal glint in his eye, but luckily was intercepted and restrained.

"He was right, we _don't_ have much time." Brandon intoned grimly, pinning his friend's wrists. "This was not the time for an identity crisis."

"You're the ones who decided to play human roadblock." Riven retorted.

Sky made a strangled sound.

"That's different. While your reckless spirit was racing, we were being fanficked."

"_Fanficked_!" Riven bellowed. "Why didn't you tell me? This is terrible! The whole confess my love and being with someone other than Musa should have tipped me off. What do we have to do about it?"

"It seems to be your job." The brunette replied in a dark tone. "I'm becoming more of a horrible icy bastard by the second. Timmy has been more than just pleasantly clueless."

"HEY!"

"And Sky," Brandon sighed deeply as the blonde specialist's eyes began to glow red. "Let's just not go there."

Sky moaned piteously. "I don't wanna die."

Riven grinned.

He paused a long moment, just grinning like a fool and reclined sexily (Yes, that's right) against the white convertible. "I don't know, I kind of like seeing him this way."

Brandon and Timmy looked furious. Sky started to writhe. "Please Brandon, I so want to kill… him… or anything….anything!" Sky's voice wavered madly as he fought against soprano.

"I know." Brandon appeared to be thinking rather hard. "If you aren't going to help us Riven, I'm turning the music back on."

"_WHAT_ !" Either peer pressure was starting to work, or Riven himself could not stand the thought of making himself look even dumber. "You wouldn't!"

"I would. I am completely emotionless and uncaring."

"Dear God! It's getting worse!" Timmy's eyes widened as he became strangely translucent.

"Ack! Must kill…! Brandon! Help!" In roughly two second Sky broke loose and snapped the neck of a huge eyed, ultra cute, innocent…okay, it was really Stormy…who was immediately devoured by a pack of rabid malteepoos….Yes, malteepoos.

Brandon looked disinterested, then suddenly came to himself and registered an expression of horror. Yeah it was Stormy, but those malteepoos looked vicious.

"SKY!" He realized that he was freezing up. "Riven! Would you do something?"

Neither noticed that Timmy had vaporized with a small squeak.

"What can I do?"

Layla roused herself for a second and looked around, eyes swirling dizzily. "Use the force."

Brandon gestured wildly to the sky "Appeal to the author. Quick!" Then he snapped into a perfectly nondescript pose of iciness and froze. Literally.

Riven glanced around at the bloodied remains the statue that was Brandon and complete lack of any Timmy residue.

"Okay, fine… author? Oh divine author?"

And lo the skies opened and a decidedly female voice spoke from the heavens.

"What do you want, Riven?"

The pointy haired specialist turned beet red. "_You_! I'm not begging any favors from you! You, you…"

After a long and creative recitation of explicits in five different languages, Riven paused to take a breath.

"What is this some kind of sick joke?"

"You bet it is." The author replied smugly and a plate of spaghetti came down and smothered him.

…

…

…

Okay enough of that

Sky wheezed painfully as he groped for the edge of the bed, pulling himself up. Brandon was just walking in rubbing his eyes as though he had just awakened.

Then he sighed.

"I wish they'd just leave us alone." He glanced over noticing Sky's condition and helped the prince on to the bed.

"Ouchie." The blonde muttered falling against his pillows. "No wonder our school fell to the witches last year."

Brandon sighed again. "I'll go get you some aspirin and those pictures of Bloom."

o.O

Riven opened his eyes. He seemed to be back in his dorm room laying on the floor.

"Dammit, she got me again?"

There was a pause.

"I think I'm going to go find Musa-or maybe just call her." He had this odd fear of running into Layla

Timmy found himself lying on the bed in his own dorm-not the one created solely for this fanfic.

"Oh well, it was nice to be out of character…I think."

Meanwhile Helia sat in his own dorm moping.

"It's not fair. Nobody ever writes fanfics about me!"

Ominous laughter echoed through Red Fountain

**

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Wow, that was really messed up!**

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**Review now! Tell me what you think. Flames appreciated.**


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